Don't send money...
unless you really want to.

So I've been taken by an email scammer who accessed my yahoo mail.

Now everyone on that contact list got a lovely (grammatically incorrect) email from me in which I ask for thousands of dollars.

Apparently I'm in the UK.

Ummm...never been there...would love to go...would probably have liked it more in the UK yesterday than where I was...

Now, the tricky part is my yahoo contact list (which includes everyone I ever gave my private blog password to, sorry blogger friends) and all my saved emails have been wiped out so if you only email me through yahoo and not through bell then I have no idea what your email address is so I can't even apologize in person (on line that is).

So, I'm off to change passwords all over the net.
It sucks.
I've learned a very valuable lesson.

And about the money? Don't send any.

The parameters of normal

Today the little Manh and I and Auntie Carol (our backup/driver/fetcher of tea and chocolate/moral support, etc) spent the day at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children.

It was special.

In so many ways.

I have not mentioned on here that the little guy required follow up to his original upper Gastro Barium study because...well...mentioning it may have made it more real. The possibility of a problem. It would have made me face what the follow up to the follow up may have entailed and I didn't want to go there.

Well, today was the day.
This barium study may have gone worse than the first one.
It started with the trussing.
Wrap my boy (who won't even use a cover at night anymore) tight in a blanket from his armpits to his toes and then TAPE HIM UP mermaid style.
Then restrain his arms over his head.
And ask him to drink barium with an imaging machine hovering 4 inches above his body.
His whole body.

First they tried their bottle which he refused.
Then they tried a syringe feeder and he pushed out much of the thickened barium with his tongue (guess the tongue tie problem is resolved)
Finally they tried Ben's bottle and he drank a bit.
Just enough to get a good taste.
Then he clamped his teeth shut or opened his mouth wide to scream but he certainly had no intention of drinking.

We kept at it...for an hour or so...
my fiercely stubborn boy
with a swallowing delay
displayed his wicked temper and hatred of being restrained
while I fed him flat on his back (a position in which no swallowing delayed person should ever be expected to drink),
restrained his hands over his head,
helped to flip him from his side (where he was somewhat calmer)
to his back to his side to his back over and over again while
refusing to pick him up as he begged me

Special, see?

As I said we did this for an eternity.
Then? Oh, then we used the g-tube.
Just gets better and better.

The doctor needed barium that wasn't thickened...cause the thickened stuff wasn't leaving the stomach...but of course he can't drink a fluid...
The doctor stuck that g-tube in his nose and I watched in awe on the digital screen as it travelled down to his stomach and made an unfortunate loop. Which would not do. So the tube went in and out and in and out until it was just right.
Now Manh is angry AND terrified and flailing about and ripping at the g-tube and blowing with his nose trying to dislodge it and it just goes on and on and on.
And he is begging me to pick him up.
And I don't.

20 minutes later we are free to go.
To the waiting area.
For 10 minutes.
10 extra minutes to see if the fluid leaves the stomach.
Then back to the table. Barely even enough time to stop the hysteria.

No movement of the fluid.

Come back at 10:30. For more digital imaging fun.

Mama and Carol and Ben go for a journey to Tim Horton's for tea...and a chocolate Tim Bit.

It's 10:30 and the fluid is moving now...
in very unusual ways...
ways that the intestine doesn't usually present itself.

This is the first time I'm told not to panic if we get a referral to go to general surgery.
Today.
That things might move very fast.

A crowd forms around the imaging machine.
A radiologist or 2, pediatric gastro guy and his buddy the resident, tech lady, etc.
Crowds are never a good thing.
Often indicate there is something special to see.
Manh screams on in terror of the machine hovering above his head
and in anger at the mama who won't pick him up
and at the restraints on his legs and the lady holding his arm
but at least the drinking is over.

So we go for a wee break.
Carol runs for magazines and peanut butter cups.
We get an x ray
and then 20 minutes later another x ray (which is different than a digital image I'm told)
and to add to the excitement we take a quick trip down the hall for an ultrasound.

Another stretch of time passes while the doctors meet
and review the millions of images they must have by now
(or perhaps go to lunch?)
dude is pulling on the baby bag and stating baba, mama, baba...
like, feed me already.
So, instead we go back for some more digital imaging.
More screaming.
More terror.

And then we can go.
We are done.
Official results will come from the pediatrician but there are apparently acceptable parameters of normal. And dude is right at the edge. The edge of normal.

No general surgery referral.
Today.

So to celebrate we went to have the vein-less dude's blood taken.
The short version...

flat on back (oh oh...not a good way to start)
nurse had arm,
mom had head,
helper 1 and 2 held the legs,
helper 3 held the extra arm,
needle went in to the arm aimed for a vein she couldn't feel but knew was there
"because all babies have a vein there"
and it was,
and he spewed
and helper 4 and 5 cleaned up the projectile vomit

8 oz baba and pureed apricots with a side order of barium

I cleaned him up in the hand washing sink,
we went for Thai


and ended the day with a lavender bubble bath in Auntie Carol's sink
and a good night's rest on our living room floor

(cause there is no way he intends to be left in his crib any time soon)Please note my 11.4 kg/25 pound almost 15 month old Vietnamese son

growing out of his 18 month pj's...
Feeding issues?
Intestines on the edge of normal?
Lets just leave well enough alone, shall we?

All Washed Up...

There's lots of washing and organizing to be done in the new classroom... Lots. Toys and shelves and toys and shelves.

Ben offered to help. But the novelty soon wore off. Once home he enjoyed washing up after getting grimy in the classroom.As a single mom who will soon be commuting back and forth to the big city for a full day of work I am looking for ways to "lessen the load".

Bath - check

Laundry - check

Shoe shine- check

Thankful

Home from the cottage and feeling so very thankful...

• I am so thankful that I live in ontario and have enjoyed many many weeks bonding with my sweet Benjaminh. I'm so thankful that I have a job I love (that I go back to - soon, but not quite yet)
• I am so thankful that my parents have a family cottage where Benjaminh and I can enjoy lazy days of cuddling, beach time, napping, watermelon eating and mosquito swatting.
• I'm feeling incredibly thankful that I was within arms reach of my sweet but tentative little water wader when he became not so tentative and decided to go from toddling in the waist deep water to full submersion, not once but 3 times this weekend. My heart did start beating normally eventually but I would be lying if I didn't say he scared me to death each and every time.
  
• I am so thankful for having sweet Catherine in my life. She organizes a "waiting mommies" event every second month up here in my neighbourhood where I have met many great friends. She has shared the joy of countless mommies as we have waited, received referrals and have been united with our children...all along waiting herself...more than 3 years...to see the face of her own daughter. Friday will be the big day! Click on the highlighted link and go bask in her joy!
  

440 days

For 220 days sweet Manh lived at Hai Duong Social Protection Centre.He was loved. He was doted over by his very protective nanny. While Manh's nanny had 3 babies that she cared for little Manh was considered sickly. He was carried constantly. He was difficult to feed so the nanny held him vertically as she fed him 1 or 2 ounces every hour. He only liked his bottle piping hot. He only drank his formula if she added sugar. He liked it when he liked it and she ran to fetch it on demand.

When I met Manh's sweet nanny she wanted me to know he was not a well baby. That he was on meds and needed to see a doctor. She wanted me to know that I should feed him small amounts often, especially at night. That I should dress him in very warm clothes and should make sure the layers of warm clothes were very handsome for the adoption ceremony. That he sleeps on his back and needs warm blankets. She wanted me to know how I should click my tongue to make him smile. I watched how Manh leaned his forehead against hers and held her face. I saw how he wrapped his little arm around her neck while he stood on her hand.For 220 days they were together.
They were a pair.

Then came mama.
On day one he wore very warm and very handsome clothes for the Giving and Receiving Ceremony. Manh's nanny was pleased. He was sweet and calm and smiled often on that very first day. His chest rattled like that of an old and very sick man so we went to the doctor on the way home from the passport office. He ate all day long that first day and in the early days thereafter, usually while I was standing up. Small amounts. Very hot. Very thick. From a bottle with a gigantic hole . And he continued to eat all night long. Manh was happiest sleeping on his back wrapped tight in a fleecy blanket.On about day twelve and nearly every day since then the little guy drifted off to sleep with his forehead touching mine as he held my face with his pudgy little hands. I love that I have a picture of my little Manh doing just that at the airport shortly after we landed in Canada.I never could make the clicking noise quite right but I now know all of his most ticklish spots and can make him giggle like a maniac. He continues to be sweet and easy going with a ready smile. My boy loves his dog (and really loves other peoples cats and horses). Loves his trucks, especially the ones that make a lot of noise. Loves his noodles. My sweet Manh lives with abandon, loving to swing and learning to run and climb, jump and swim while at the same time approaching new experiences with a side of caution. He isn't always gentle. I now know that the chest rattle on day one probably wasn't bronchitis but was more likely related to the little guy's swallowing delay and his habit of aspirating fluids into his lungs. We continue to see doctors and feeding specialists and drink barium shakes to get to the bottom of it...

It isn't always roses but he is so sweet. And 220 days later we are a pair.

Searching

When I was in Vietnam last January I had a portrait of Benjaminh created in Charcoal. the artist used a photo and had his work ready in 2 days. TWO...unbelievable really. The very best 30 bucks American I have ever spent. I am in love with his work and it hangs above my couch.

Well, Benjaminh's Auntie Julia and Uncle Danny will be travelling to Hanoi in the not too distant future to meet sweet Molly. I have an itching for a second portrait. Because...well, just because. The trick is finding the perfect photo.

Here is January's photo, taken on the day after the adoption ceremony. He is looking a bit wide eyed and holding himself up in a tri-pod sitting position. I can hardly remember the baby he was that day (mostly because he was demanding to be fed every hour all day and all night long...).

And the resulting portrait.So now I am searching.
Searching for the very best possible shot for portrait number 2.
It could be a face shot
or a whole body shot.
I'm not quite sure yet.
And I'm almost sure I want it to be a shot of Ben as a 1 year old.
Here are a couple of favourites to date...
Here are 2 possibilities that are exceptions to the 1 year old rule...
for obvious reasons I love both of these shots.
Opinions are welcome, encouraged actually.

If you have a different shot from the blog in mind speak up.

The beginning of a tradition...

Macy and Ben and their mamas took a trip this week and had fun on fun on fun.
Next year's trip to the big city is already in the works.
The littles met little friends and the mamas met big friends.
There was picnickingand swimmingand fighting and playing and sometimes sleeping.
Lots of driving during which the littles behaved miraculously considering their littleness.

If you are a mom of a little (or twin littles) could you leave a little note to let me know if I can put pictures up (with no names of course).