Blessed...and hoping to pass it on.

The wee guy is from Hai Duong Province.  He was blessed to live the first months of his life in what can only be described as an ideal orphanage setting, as ideal as an orphanage can be in my opinion anyway.  The baby rooms had 3 nannies and 9 babies.  Each nanny cared consistently for the same 3 babies.  Do the math.  That kind of ratio rocks the orphanage world.  And that kind of consistent attention from a single caring adult can make a world of difference.

This woman was Ben's world before me.  She means the world to me.

Benjaminh's caregiver for 7 months and 6 days.  Under her care and attention he grew from a wee newborn of 6 and a bit  pounds to a whopping 7 month-er of about 19 pounds.

  

She carried him around upright practically all the time because he was sickly.  She fed him upright because he was sickly.  She fed him a small amount hourly around the clock because he was sickly.  She told me, through a translator, that my son was sickly, as his 19 pounds leaped about on my lap chortling and cooing and giving great eye contact (to her...not me, sweet Ben adored his nanny).  His wrist roles had wrist rolls.  This woman, without special specialists and doctors and speech paths used her own intuition to provide for my son exactly what he needed to combat his aspiration /swallowing delays and reflux problems in the absence of medical support.

Well, my little Manh and I are putting on the fancy clothes (a size 4 Ao Dai on my 22 month old thank you very much) and heading out to a Gala Fundraiser for a different sort of Vietnamese orphanage setting the whole while saying thanks for the blessings that filled Benjaminh's early days. 

Vung Tau 3, in Ba Ria, presently houses around 19 babies under the age of 2 years with a nanny staff of 2 (at a time, in 8 hour shifts I believe).  A third nanny comes in for a few hours in the afternoon.  Do the math.  They need so much.  Nannies, nanny training, a washer and dryer, a refrigerator, and the list goes on and on.  A Canadian woman, spending time at Vung Tau 3 right this very minute, is thrilled with the loving attention the babies receive from such a committed but severely limited staff.  She is seeing first hand the glaring need for so much more for the babies and older children residing there.

So Ben and I are going to dinner.  On April 9th.  We will dress in our finest, eat a huge meal, have a few beverages at the included bar, bid on auction items, spend time with waiting parents, purchase a few small items from the fund raising vendors present, and hope.  Hope that those of us living over here, in 3 bedroom homes housing 2 or 3 or 4 people, living in relative comfort, living with rather than without, will come out to the gala for an evening of fun in order to make a huge difference in the lives of children existing in relative discomfort and living without.

In January 2009 we traveled much of our homecoming trip alongside little Miss A.  A Vung Tau baby who did without.  A baby that did not have any fat at all let alone wrist fat on wrist fat.  A baby that had not been held and had learned to do without being held.  I can close my eyes and see her sweet face and her thin little wrist.  She haunts me quite frankly.  Last year's fundraising efforts changed the lives of the children at Vung Tau 1 and 2.  It's number 3's turn.

Let's create airport homecomings that look like this, shall we?  Loved and open to love.

Views...

Flashback...

A year ago my son had a spotted complexion.  Sort of showing the Irish side a bit.  But these were not freckles.  Burst capillaries around his eyes and over the bridge of his nose.  Brought on by aspirating fluids and trying unsuccessfully to catch your breath after wards.  All the while turning purple and scaring the living $h!t out of mama.  Sounds lovely eh?

Fast forward a year and what has changed?

Well, shortly before the above shot was taken my friend and I staged an aspiration episode and video taped it.  The doctors were NOT listening.  I was feeding my son with the telephone by my side just in case I needed 911.

After the video I was no longer "over reacting".  The specialist appointments began.

Here we are a year later in a bit of a holding pattern.  Severe reflux is controlled through medication.  Medication we can't really stop, even if we think the reflux is abating, because dude's reflux causes BIG vomiting and vomiting and aspiration don't go together so well.   So we medicate.

The swallowing, thought initially to be a developmental lag is not un-lagging.  The expressive language is lagging now as well.  And it is hyper-nasal (as is the vomit-but that is TMI). So we wait.  With thickened milk.  For another specialist.  A special specialist.  Things may be physiological.  Surgically fixable.  We need the special specialist to tell us for sure.

Meanwhile the dude is thriving. At full speed ahead.  And mama it tired...

The not so subtle signs of language development

A bit of background info...

Dude loves rice and lentils.  Like a cup and a half of love, or more.

He also has a new and insatiable love of blackberries.  Like the whole package kind of love.

And finally?  A love for all body functions and the parts that participate.

Tonight, after bath time, dude and mama are cuddling in bed playing the I love game.

Mama says "Ben loves mama" and the game starts...

Ben begins a list of all the things he loves and being the obediant mama I fill in the blanks for him.

He says, "nana"

Mama says, "Ben loves Nana.

He says, "DeeDee" (Dea-his first girlfriend, she's in SK)

Mama says, "Ben loves Dea"

He says, "Bumbpa"  (Gramps to the rest of us)

I say, "Ben loves Grampa"

and on and on and on

MaMa (Uncle Matt) Kiken (Auntie Kristen) Bool (Uncle Bill) Woof (Boomer) Cuc ( Uncle Chuck) and on it goes...

Tuk (truck) Buh (bus) carcar (a bit obvious, no?) oo, oo, ah, ah (Monkey Monkey) elelele (elephant) and on it goes

Anyway, midway through the listing of everything the dude loves, a language development session and what has turned into a postpone bedtime ritual of love, the giggles start.

The belly chuckles start right after the biggest explosion of butt air into diaper I have ever heard (remember the lentils and blackberries?  Oh, add in a heaping serving of broccoli for good measure, forgot that little bedtime snack).

So dude is gigglling and I ask, "Ben, did you toot a big toot into your diaper?"

Him- momo

Back to the list of love when the giggles start again...this time BEFORE he lets the gas rip

Me-Ben Ben...was that you?

Him- momo. Woof woof.

Me- Boomer?  It wasn't Boomer.  He's downstairs!  It was Ben!

 Him- elaelaela ecch.

Me- BenBen you funny boy, elephants at the zoo are stinky but your ela is a softy love (our word for stuffed animal).  It was Ben.  Ben is stinky!

Him- momo.  Mama sink. Ecch. 

So I've looked through the language development checklists and I can't find the check box.

The one that says "Blames others for stinky gas from his own butt."

In other developmental news...
this afternoon at the park.

An Auntie, 2 dogs and a bucket of clothes pins

So much fun!

Puddles...

This is VERY early in the puddle jumping process.  A process that ended with mud in his hair and scum in his neck folds and grit in his ear.  He wanted more...and more...and more...but it is only 8 degrees out there and the dude was wet.  So, I took him into Auntie Carol's bathroom and using the doggy shower washed him down.

Now he's warm and happy in his pj's.  Yummy dinner is coming our way and then (hopefully) home to bed nice and early.

Yesterday at Auntie Kristen's we had a 4 hour nap and as a result bedtime was 11pm.  We slept until nearly 9am today.

Tomorrow morning at 6 am my life might suck.

Wheeee!

It is all about the slide.
On Monday he held my hand from the top to the bottom of the wee tiny baby slide.
Then it rapidly turned into all by myself...

Yesterday

Today

Tomorrow?

Already Hump Day?

Mama says our week off is half over! 
I better hurry to get a few more things done...

I need cuddle time with my favourite critters
(oh, Auntie Cindy?  Uncle Tiger? Are you there?  I love neowneow with all my heart and would LOVE a Fuzz that Was lelalela (that's elephant by the way) for my birthday.  Mama told me no at the zoo yesterday and I was a bit shocked....

 Sometimes I don't like her decisions...so I pout...

And the whole climbing thing? 
She worries when I climb high structures...

maybe she needs to be closer when I'm on flat ground?

I was already really wet and dirty from my grassland mishap so we went for ice-cream
(sometimes mama has Good Ideas!)...

Tomorrow?  Uncle Matt is turning a really big number!  So I'm taking him out for Japanese.  Well, Mama's driving.

And the weekend!  It's gonna be big!  I'm meeting a couple of Hai Duong girlfriends for lunch at our favourite Vietnamese restaurant.  And getting spoiled by Auntie Kristen and Uncle Chuck and Cammy and Bob and Daniel too!  And Visiting Uncle Sam and Auntie Janice  and Baldie and the big M if they return mama's phone call (hint hint...)

Stay tuned.  Mama is still practicing with her little Canon A1100IS so there are sure to be more photos coming your way soon (she bought cheap and replaceable after the wee mishap with the last one).

36 hours of fun...

3 days down, 6 more to go.

You arrived just in the nick of time

March Break that is.
Last week was rough.
Now it is over...

We've been busy already this weekend and are off to see special friends overnight tonight and then, maybe, the zoo tomorrow.

Lovely dinner out with friends from the adoption world on Friday evening...some of whom heard about their travel dates that very day!

Ben looks happy here but there was a moment late in the evening when he gave me and hundreds of restaurant patrons a peek into the world of two year old tantrums...and it was all my fault.  Waaaay tooooo late to be out.

A drizzly day walk with our best friend Boomer.

Fun times at Kindermusik...Ben LOVES kindermusik.

He really looks forward to a bit of playtime after music class is over.  This is an Ike@ slide and he can slide on this over and over again for half an hour.

And today?  A late get up.  Play time. Bath time.  And lots of fun BOX play.  My boy adores his boxes.

Still getting used to the new camera...a bit blurry at times.