I'm living on the edge here and going to the general blogging public for your opinion.
Bold of me, I know.
Here is the scenario.
Read to the end and then vote in my week long poll.
I am waiting for a baby boy. I have been waiting for little Benjaminh for about 20 months (since registering with the agency). There are people ahead of me in the queue waiting for their precious little ones as well. Each and every one of them has been waiting longer than I have.
As of January 24th the first 5 people in the queue were waiting for something other than a baby boy. Perhaps a toddler but most likely a baby girl. I know this because number 6 was matched with a baby boy.
Number 6 was removed from the list when she was matched and on Feb. 7th I found out (indirectly) that I am number 10. Julia, my university roommate is incredibly number 9 (but they don't actually give out numbers...so don't ask...). At this time I also found out that 2 families in the first 8 were in the process of switching to include boys in their request.
Today I was told that 2 more families have been tentatively matched with baby boys (perhaps but not necessarily the 2 families who switched). By tentatively I mean their file and the baby file are paired up in some way and in 8 weeks or so their baby will be revealed in a formal referral. I don't even know that the specific families know of the matches but I'm guessing they might.
So...
(remembering of course that there is no numbered list)...
Mathematically I am now number 8 (waiting to be matched) .
I know number 7 (my ex-roommate) is open to either a boy or girl. I know no one else from 1-6 but I do know that on Jan 24th 1-5 were not open to baby boys.
Imagine you are number 1-5 (perhaps even 6) and you have been waiting more than 20 months for your baby girl. The agency has announced that more referrals are expected in the next month. Would you switch your request at this point?
To support your decision you know that the agency has matched
6 infant boys
4 infant girls
1 toddler boy
Now go vote on the sidebar...
And join in on the commenting fun to let me know you voted.
PLEASE!
Thanks for playing the numbers game.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Okay... in true "me" fashion I voted, then read the blog post, then realized that my vote would stay the same... trying to do many things at once... hahaha. But, I voted and then it showed me the totals. You could also look before you voted if you wanted!
i think i would possibly do just about anything 20 months in. i have found, through this journey that what my ideas and notions on adoption were at day 1 are not what they are now, 11 months in.
we requested a girl. we will stick with this because our children beleive they are waiting for their sister and because we have thought of her as "her" for the past 11 months.
that is not saying that if i knew what i know now, that i would still specify a gender. i don't know if i would. i don't think i would. i have learned so much and perhaps these families - during such a long and very hard wait - have opened their hearts to baby boys, even if they imagined a girl all this time.
it must be very hard for you - for all the families waiting. you think you are in a certain spot in the 'line' and then you find out you aren't. the wait sucks.... period. i think of you and J often.
I voted "no i'm too close". but if i was 20 months in with no end in sight, maybe i would. ya, i might.
Voted because boys are so wonderful.. special and kind. I have five sons and they have blessed me greatly so I voted for a boy for you for that reason. I love my daughters as well...but!!
I would not change. Families make choices for a reason. If it was initially decided that a girl would work best for your family then wait for a girl.
This is easy for me to say because we are waiting for a boy. I think that it is unfair that people who change their mind mid stream may get a referral for a boy before a family that originally requested a boy.
With more referals coming in the next month, Iwould not switch. i waited this long what's another few weeks. There is an end in side
for number 1-5
Again it is easy for me to say since we are open to both gender and will be happy with eather
.
Okay B..I was going to change my vote after I read everyone's comment..LOL..that is me to a Tee!
But, in all honesty here!..I have 3 children..two boys and one girl..and If I were in your position and waiting 20 months for little B and nothing yet I would be frustrated with the process for sure. I do think of you every day and wonder how things are going in your day! I would most certainly be flexible but that is who I am and how I am. Children are very precious and either a boy or a girl I am sure would be your world not matter what! That is why I chose to Say "yes" for the change. If Little B turned out to be a female B I am sure would look precious in all that little blue clothes as well..
I know you have your heart set on Little B but if it were me I would keep my options open and free flowing!
Love ya,
C
Oh by the way I dearly love your photo for the latest Blog..He is showing that expression alot these days when we approach him with camera...LOL Too Funny!
Chloe
man I should sooo give this numbers game to my husband the numbers man (he is an actuary)....I may do that and see what he feels your odds are...I think they are good!
I am #8 on my agency's list as well. But they have separate boys lists and girls lists. I would think anyone that close wanting a girl would wait it out. I think you are close too!
Post a Comment