Is there barium in that banana?

Is there barium in that cheerio?

Is there barium in that cheese?

Is there barium in that yogurt?

Is that barium spread on my roti?

My boy has become suspicious. Rightly so. The barium drinking test was today and it didn't go quite as planned.

Baby boy is stubborn. Opinionated. Obstinate. Inflexible. And very very patient.

A test that should have taken 10 minutes took nearly 5 hours because that boy would NOT drink the barium. No matter how hungry he got. No matter how long we waited in between our efforts... No matter how many teas from the cafeteria I enjoyed while he watched and smiled at the other hospital goers and charmed them while drowning in their concern for his health as he sat in his stroller gussied up in a baby hospital gown.

He was happy. Out and about. enjoying the fountains and the art displays and the attention of his newest fans.

I met and chatted with a lovely set of grandparents to be waiting patiently for nearly 4 years to see the face of their grand daughter from China...another "interesting" woman who is also "doin that", you know adopting from Vietnam "cause I have 4 and want another but I've been waiting 5 years" Um, yeah, she couldn't name her agency, "it's slipped my mind" and apparently didn't know Vietnam was CLOSED 5 years ago...but whatever.

I was visiting and Benjaminh was happily starving to death. And they wouldn't let me get the dude's outstanding blood work done because they didn't want him upset for the barium test...WHAT BARIUM TEST! He won't drink the flipping Barium!

So he won in the end and barium was added to his regular formula/cereal/thickener mixture making the test nearly useless because he doesn't aspirate the thickened goop. But it got done. and I had a word with the doctor and told him to tell me he gleaned very important info from the test-so that I could feel like I hadn't just lost 5 hours of my life into an abyss (and 21 bucks for parking).

So guess what? The test was a success and they gained all kinds of insight into B's swallowing and reflux issues.

Are you buying it?

Me neither.

And when we got back? After the nap time window had closed? He found the dog's water dish. Trashed the house in 10 minutes flat.

So we went to auntie Carol's searching for sanity in the sun on her back deck.
And some Indian take-out.