The Flaming Hoops of Bureaucracy

Bureaucracy...who needs it.

Apparently the week in between Christmas and New Years is not the best time to speak to people who can answer questions at the Bank, at the Employment Insurance Office or at the School Board. Who knew?

I received a call from the Board of Education, my employer, requesting that I contact EI to get answers to questions they, at the board, can't answer by themselves this week.

I called EI 11 times today between 9ish and 2ish to get answers for the board. Each and every time I got the "call volume is high and we are not able to place you on hold at this time. Call back later. CLICK."---meaning "We are all on vacation...sucks to be you"

So, demonstrating initiative I got in the car, drove 35 minutes to the EI office and got the answer I was searching for... hmmm... Yup (she actually said YUP) I think your board is right but you really should call the call centre for confirmation. This week is probably not a good week to call though. Call on the 5th. That would be better.

Um, the 5th, right, from a plane over the PACIFIC OCEAN?

So I went shopping...for Benjaminh...because there were no flaming hoops of bureaucracy at Baby Gap

(Thanks for the sweet long sleeved onesie for under my overalls Auntie Chloe! And the matching socks of course.)

Paper and Boxes...the joy of Christmas

This type of play apparently occurs as a result of eating ONLY sweetened applesauce for dinner. Lots and lots and lots of sweetened applesauce. Oh, and skipping nap time of course.

My sweet 2 year old nephew calls this game "paper snow".

I call my livingroom a disaster!

A dog's Christmas in pictures

While the humans ate we watched...
and watched...and watched.


And then we feasted on our own fowl.

It wasn't a ruff Christmas at all.

"Deep Breath"

Lots of last minute paperwork.

Lots of worrying, wondering and waiting for email answers from those who know the answers...

Like, does it matter that you used the incorrect spelling of my first name on my airline tickets?

Should I be worried about traveling home alone with sweet Benjaminh and experiencing a 15 hour layover in Korea?

Oh, employer dear, you need my parental leave forms and supporting documentation RIGHT NOW? Signed by the principal in the middle of vacation?

Most everything is under control.

I have investigated the Korean Airport and quite frankly it is somewhere I can probably keep busy for 15 hours. And it helps that they are Asian daytime hours. 6 hours for 39 American Bucks in a transit hotel will certainly help as will a copious number of Infant rest rooms. I'll survive.

I'm assuming I will hear from someone tomorrow morning about the spelling error in my name. If I don't I can assure you that they will be hearing from me.

Almost all of the required paperwork is at the board office.

Now, employment insurance paperwork.
Next week I guess.

Two Weeks from Right This Minute

I'll be boarding a flight.
Unbelievable really.

In the interim I thought I should keep busy
so I scheduled Christmas and New Years.
And a few other things...

Choosing hardwood for the living room
(did this today)
Cleaning
Wrapping
Cleaning
Cooking (also unbelivable, I know)
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with friends and Family
Hosting Boxing Day, baby holding
(though I have to share with Grandma)
More cleaning
A couple of tutoring sessions
Choosing ceramic tile for the kitchen and entry
Cleaning
Meeting with Jack...the one who builds houses...
Imagine the book,
"these are the floors Jack installed, while I was in Vietnam"
A touch of last minute shopping
(for Immodium anyway, and books for the flight)
A spa day with the ladies
Lunch out
Photo developing
(for the orphanage director and past nannies of Ben's buddies to be...)
Oh yeah, installing gates and building cribs
And packing.
For up to 4 weeks or so in Vietnam.
Right, must pack...

16 sleeps until take-off

So, rather than cleaning my house for Christmas visitors I have been researching Hanoi weather patterns and climate...for January. All of January, as I will be there pretty much the whole month and in to February.

What to pack (for me- I've got the little guy covered...literally).
That is the question.

Well, it seems the average temperature is 16 or 17 degrees Celsius with lows around 13 and highs around 20 (record lows of 6 and record highs of 33). Though humid (75-85% humidity) there isn't much rain falling and it only falls an average of 7 days of the month.

So pants will be fine. Perhaps a couple of pairs of capri pants and a pair of favourite sandals. Runners. T-shirts, long and short sleeved and light sweatshirts for layering. A light jacket for the Ha Long Bay trip.

Any and all advice is appreciated.

10 signs that the
total number of days remaining
until you leave to pick up your son
is greater than your I.Q.

1. while you usually sleep 8 or 9 hours EVERY SINGLE NIGHT suddenly you seem to be sleeping 8 or 9 minutes
2. repetitive buzzing sounds when you are TRYING to sleep make you scream "shut the fu^# up" rather than actually getting you up...even though it is a work day and the repetitive buzzing, which has been repeating for over an hour, is in fact your alarm clock.
3. you go and pick up the pup at his farm dayspot, load him into the car, go home, go into the house, nap (because you are NOT sleeping well), hang out, look at pictures of your son, get dressed for a winter dog walk and realize, AGAIN, that you forgot the flipping leash at the farmspot.
4. you write a very detailed email to the travel advisor at the agency. It contains all sorts of important travel info like passport numbers and full correctly spelled names and credit card numbers. 7 different bits of requested info for each traveller. You call the next morning to give the expiry date and special code for the charge card so flights can be booked using the emailed info and the travel advisor is like" what email?" And it is nowhere to be found. Not in the outgoing mail or the drafts or anywhere. And you think...did I write it or just THINK about writing it. And you are not actually sure of the answer.
5. you feel like crying when the special guardian angel that heads out to pick up your favourite tea at lunch every day is AWAY...
6. you leap up from your desk, rush down to the school office to grab that important thing that you just thought about and by the time you get there you completely forget what that important thing was and then you hope it wasn't important at all and sometimes you forget to go back to your desk for a L...O..N...G time
7. you pack a box full of little gifts for Benjaminh's favourite Albertan uncle and aunt, take it to school on Tuesday so you can rush out and get it sent more than half way across Canada in between dinner and the school play, get the invitation to travel in between dinner and the play and forget about the package until 2 days later on the eve of a storm the forecasters are calling SNOWMAGEDDON. Oh well, it'll make a great Easter gift. sorta.
8. you figure you can use wax paper rather than parchment paper when trying to make macaroons for the first time...even though you made great pressed leaves with wax paper as a little kid and know wax MELTS...what a waste of 8 cups of flaked coconut
9. it takes 3 tries to sign the application for the Vietnamese entry visa the same way you signed your passport. The signature you use ALL.OF.THE.TIME! What is up with that?
10. I'll have to get back to you on number 10 because the apple cider I'm heating up on the stove just boiled dry. I was feeling a bit chilled so I thought I'd make a hot drink. Most people might realize that the thermostat is set at 60 degrees and simply turn it up but me? I'd rather try to burn my house down!!!

Flights are booked, waiting for confirmation from the airlines.

19 days until take-off.

Visa Application
Travel Arrangements Form
Next day Purolator delivery

Done
Done
Done

Sleep

Not so much

The agency will work to book all of the group's flights tomorrow with a hope that we will travel earli-ish in the week of January 5th (depending on flight availability).

I'll likely be travelling half way around the world to my baby boy 3 weeks from right this very second.

Wow! This is really happening.

934 days later a dream came true

I'm going to Vietnam!!!

Vietnam has issued my letter of invitation to travel.
The agency is looking for flights for early in the first week in January.

Details to follow!

Christmas Joy

Seriously, couldn't little C be on the cover of the Sears Wish Book?



A few short months ago he was most uncooperative...

Just to clarify...travel dates are VERY tentative right now (in my mind anyway). As soon as the plans firm up I will share the juicy details. So much has been "soon, any day" during this journey that even when things look somewhat real I'm sceptical until I have a sure thing on my hands.

Stay tuned. It could be an especially exciting week at wish, wonder and wait... The wishing and the wondering could very well be over and the waiting nearly done.

A gift...

I received a detailed email from the agency today that included all kinds of interesting information about visa's, passports, travel arrangement forms, balances owing on 'In Trust" accounts and Hanoi hotels. Oh yeah, and tentative travel dates.

I'm thrilled.

Many more details to follow mid to late next week when things are supposed to become less tentative.

Stay tuned Sweet Benjaminh,

Mommy is coming.

Sitting here

So, I'm searching back through Ange's blog over at theroadtovietnam reading about her time lines and hoping and praying that I get my letter of invitation on the 17th like she did and lo and behold she is simultaneously commenting on my blog to hang on just a bit longer... that she was impatient and losing it a week or so before her letter as well.

What would I do without my sweet friends, pulling me back from the edge, over and over.

Dossiers go to Vietnam a month apart, in October and November of 2006,
and referrals arrive a year apart, August 28th 2007 and September 2 2008.
Figure that one out while thanking God
because sweet Owen makes the waiting real.
Go see for yourself.

While I was over at "theroad" I tripped across this beautiful poem that our agency sent out a gazillion days ago. It didn't cite an author, so if you know the author pass it on.

And enjoy.

With Love to Adoptive Parents

You cannot change the truth
these are your children
but they come from somewhere else
and they are the children of those places
and of those persons as well.

Help them to know all about their past
and all about their present.
Help them to know that they are from extended families,
that they only have one set of parents
but that they have more mothers and fathers…

They have grandmothers, godmothers,
birthmothers, mother countries and mother earth.

They have grandfathers, godfathers,
birthfathers and fatherlands.

They have family by birth and by adoption
they have family by choice and by chance.

Childhood is short
They are our children to raise.
They are our children to love
and then they are citizens of the world.
What we do to them creates the world that we live in.

Give them life.
Give them their truth.
Give them love.
Give them all that they came with.
Give them all that they grow with.

Your children do not belong to you
But they belong with you.
You cannot keep from them what is theirs
But you can keep loving them.
You do not own your children,
But they are your own.

Impatient today.

Very impatient.

Desperately impatient.

The weather really was frightful...

I went on a little road trip this weekend to visit the (mostly) sweet Christian and his mommy and daddy about an hour and a half north west of the big city. When I headed out at noon on Friday there was grass showing in the big city. An hour and a half NW??? Not so much.

I didn't have my camera so you will have to use your imagination...
Snow.
Deep snow.
Like a couple of feet of snow.
Like the neighbour was shoveling his roof when we arrived.
Shoveling.His.Roof.
When we left today, 2 days later, the roof needed shoveling again.
I expect to see them again in April. or May.

It was like we drove through a cosmic hole or something and ended up in the far northern Arctic.

Tilleywear

Behold the beauty of Benjaminh's beautiful new Tilleywear hat!

Could it be ANY cuter?

Bunny Boo offered to model Benjaminh's cold weather wear for you tonight though the 6-12 month size was a bit on the big side...you get the idea though.

Hand made to my specifications
by Mason and Elizabeth's mommy Tiffany
with a generous return policy if Benjaminh's head turns out to be gargantuan

Can't wait to put it on my little guy...
perhaps we will visit Halong Bay on a blustery day?
( though I'm more likely to leave it in the car seat
in anticipation of our winterish Canadian return)

(hmmm...never thought to ask if the return policy has a time limit so
COME ON YOU VN OFFICIALS!!!!!.

It is December.
Little man turns 6 months old in a matter of a day or 2 depending on which side of the earth you call home.
Will I hold him in my arms by the time he is 7 months old?

Oh, I hope so.

The Weather Outside is Frightful...

Seriously, can the snow stop now? It is November. My brother was swimming in the lake in October. Where has the beautiful fall weather gone? Will it be back?

Honestly, I had hoped to be in Vietnam when the crappy weather hit. Then home when the really crappy weather hit. Snow covering my car and I don't care sort of home. Home with my baby boy, both of us in our flannie pyjammies. Cozied up on the couch sucking back a bottle (Benjaminh, not me). Hot cup of tea in hand (in a covered travel mug...wouldn't want to spill it on the little man). Puppy curled up by my feet.

Well I got the official word that no letter of invitation means no travel before Christmas. Sucks. On the bright side this little bit more waiting means time to find homes in my house for all of Benjaminh's stuff. SO MUCH STUFF. Oh my. I will have to displace some of my own under-used stuff to make space.

In an effort to share a bit of the Benjaminh love I'm going to snap a few pictures for you. The hand-made bits you may not have seen on store shelves before...as well as some "piles" of Benjaminh Belongings looking for homes in my house.

Here goes...

Made in VN, a gift last Christmas, to carry me through.

You have never felt a blankie so soft...with a built in monkey pocket!No words are necessary...how cute are these?Handmade with love.Wow, I'm getting new floors but perhaps I need new cabinets?

Speechless...well, sort of...in a "I'm alone and there is no one to talk to" sort of way.

Generosity consists not the sum given,

but the manner in which it is bestowed.

Wow, what a weekend.

My dear friend Carol hosted the baby shower of the century in Benjaminh's name. So many people have walked by my side during the ups and downs and downs and ups of this journey. Lifting me up when I was down. Celebrating with me at the peaks. Many of these same people met yesterday for the first time.

Lifelong friends, adoption friends, sweet friends from school, family, neighbours and more... Young and not quite as young...sitting, chatting, laughing, eating and celebrating. Celebrating wee Benjaminh's imminent arrival.

It was all so very overwhelming. Really. Benjaminh is loved deeply by so many people he has not yet met. He received gifts beyond imagine. More importantly we both received the gift of love and unending support.

My tiny little family is so very lucky.

Wow.

A few pictures of the festivities for your viewing pleasure.

Yum...ice cream cake

Auntie K (travel partner extraordinaire), myself and Ben's new Build a Bear (Nana in the background)

Crowd views...

Take another peek...

Click here for another peek at His Deliciousness...
and a wee status update.

Elijah David

My sweet nephew.

Born Friday Evening,

on his mommy's birthday.

I of course commented on her having received

the greatest gift ever.

She responded that 26 hours of labour

including 3 failed epidurals

was gift she wouldn't have chosen.

A different gift delivery system would have been selected.

Apparently she is owed an ice-cream cake...

Soon...

Home from the hospital today.

Well over 8 pounds.

Healthy but a bit yellow.

Our family has been blessed once again.

Daddy, big brother Malachi (about 27 months old) and baby Elijah.

Auntie B soaking it in.

MOTHER NATURE, BITE ME

Words escape me.

Life Points to Ponder

I got the shot. Not without some heroic driving through an elementary school parking lot on a rainy day 10 minutes before dismissal (a school serving about 650 children who apparently melt).

Seriously, I'm walking towards my car thinking "After all of this waiting the journey won't end right here will it? In the school parking lot? After I KILL the parents who parked in front of my car TODAY of all DAYS...but other parents saw me coming...parents who LOVE me... they ran to get the 3 blockers...and saved the day.
Saved the adoption.
Saved my clean criminal record.

So, on to my points to ponder...

1. Where is my brain? I rush to pick up the dog at the farm on my way home and leave his leash behind. We are not going to another farm. We are going to a town. A town with leash laws and neighbours I have freaked out on because they refuse to leash their dog.
2. Where is my brain? I get to the pharmacy (the CLINIC pharmacy), have the little refridgerate the ducarol speech, pay the bill and the lovely woman offers to refridegerate the ducarol while I get my shot and sit for the required 30 minutes where they make sure I'm not going to croak. I get the shot, wait 30 minutes and leave without the ducarol.
3. Where is my brain? The town CENTRE pharmacy calls me about 2 hours later to let me know the CLINIC pharmacy (you know, the affiliate) has dropped off the forgotten ducarol and I can pick it up until 8 pm. I think great, I head out (and on the way I stop and borrow a leash because the pharmacy is close so I'm walking the dog) and I walk to the CLINIC pharmacy because I HAVE NO BRAIN! Then I walk back, put the dog in the back seat, drive to the CENTRE pharmacy stopping at the mailbox on the way where I find a parcel ticket waiting for me. Yaaaaay. The day is improving. I love me some parcel goodness!!!!
4. Where is my brain? I rush in to the town CENTRE pharmacy, pick up the ducarol, no one laughs at me (to my face), browse at some lovely little hand cream gift packages that would be perfect for nanny gifts and head out to the car and home. Halfway home I remember the parcel ticket. Guess where one picks up parcels in little town? Did you guess the PHARMACY? Did you guess the CENTRE Pharmacy...at the exact desk where I was browsing through gift bags? So I went back.
5. Ouch! Where is my bloody brain already! The parcel is big. Pretty sure it isn't cloth diaper covers. Sort of 1 foot by 2 feet by 3 feet in an unmarked Toysrus box. By unmarked I mean it doesn't have a picture of the contents of the box on the outside of the box. They offer me a cart. Me? A cart? Do I look wussy or something? Me of big muscle but little brain heft the akward box and head on my merry way shoving open no less than 4 doors with my left arm. Um yeah. Got that shot on the left.

So now I'm home. Got my shot. Got my big parcel (which I'm dropping off at the shower destination tomorrow and am NOT opening it even though I really really want to). I even stopped at my local Tim H0rT0ns on the way home. Couldn't lift the left arm high enough to pay through the drive through window. This is when I knew. I have no brain.

I do want to preface this brainless post with a few details. Typically I am not brainless. Most businesses have generators to support their I.T. department when there is a power outage or a computer crisis...my school secretaries have me. I remember EVERYTHING! I know EVERYONE'S name. Like this imaginary but very likely scenario: I know that Abdul is in grade 1 in room 16 and was in room 12 last year and has 3 older siblings and 5 cousin-brothers attending the school and I know where each and every one of those siblings and cousin-brothers are in the building. I know his mother's name and his aunts' names. All 5 of his Aunts. 3 of the aunts went to the school 15 years ago and I remember their classes and thier brothers names and and and...

Scary really. And even scarier? Most of that information is intact. The day to day stuff like where did I park the car? Gone. There is an empty space where this short term stuff used to live. I know others who have completed adoptions in the last year of so. Not everyone seems to get it back.

Un-frikkin-believable

If you are not a fan of venting move on to the next blog in your favourites...
seriously...

Okay, I warned you.

I'm simply trying to get a typhoid vaccine.
Easy right?
Not.

Go back to June 26th 2006. The begining of this seemingly never ending road to parenting. I was going to be a mommy in 6-9 months. Wow! the excitement! The thrill! The debt! The worry!

Off I go to the doctor to get my medical clearance. While I'm there I get a TB test and we discuss immunizations. It is decided I will get my routine immunizations updated that day (2 shots) and will get the Heb a + b series starting the following week. Closer to travel I will get typhoid. Right arm, left arm, tb test and off I go.

Fast forward 862 days. Early last week. I need my typhoid immunization stat. Chatting with the travel clinic I determine that they need a record of my routine immunizations...so I call my doctor to get them but...wait for it...there is no record of the June 26th shots. NO RECORD. Apparently I never had them. Can't use the travel clinic until I get it straightened out.

Day 869. This past monday. The doctor's office will do the immunization for Typhoid but I have been told to call 24 hours in advance so they can order it in. I call Monday at 9am. I have an appointment Tuesday at 12:10. I take the WHOLE DAY off work because I will need to sit 30 minutes after the shot and my doctor is 45 minutes from my school...

I get there. No vaccine has been ordered. Un-frikkin-believable.

But it gets better. worse. better. whatever... I move on. Or so I think.

I take my prescription to the pharmacy in the clinic building.
There is a line up. I read the sign as I wait.
Town Center Pharmacy hours...10am-8pm Monday to Friday.
My turn...
I comment on the convienience, specifically mentioning the hours the pharmacy is open.
I tell them the clinic is injecting me Wednesday between 6 and 7 pm giving me time to sit 30 minutes before they close at 8. She says great, the delivery will arrive by 11 am. I repeat that I will arrive just before my injection time. She even looks up the price for me. We chat. We are practically friends (I don't know any of these people because I DON'T go to pharmacies. EVER.

Fast forward to today. Get my Oprah, get my large steeped tea double milk, walk over to the clinic, the pharmacy is CLOSED! The one with the 10 - 8 hours POSTED ON THE FRIKKEN DOOR.

Why, why would there be hours for the Town CENTRE Pharmacy
on the door of the Town CLINIC Pharmacy?

Who knew there were 2 pharmacies under the same management in a town without a McD's...without a KFC...without a public high school.

Come back tomorrow and I will report on the conclusion of this story...
somehow I need to finish work at 3:30. Be at the CLINIC Pharmacy by 4:15 pm (40 minutes away) so that I can have the injection by 4:20, sit for 30 minutes before they close at 5pm.
OR
Wait until next Wednesday (but the injection needs to happen a full 2 weeks before exposure and a miracle may occure at any minute and I will receive the travel call...

So...

Got a package in the mail today from Parenting by Nature,
my cloth diaper registry...
Can I open it?
Can I
Can I
Can I

I know it is a shower gift
I know the shower isn't "right now"
But I'm not sure I can wait...

My Mind

If you do the laundry on Saturdays
and you have LOTS of blue in your wardrobe
and it is Tuesday morning
and you can't find your navy blue t-shirt
(or your other navy blue t-shirt or your navy blue tank)
and you are in month 29 of an adoption odyssey

then the only conclusion is that you are losing your mind...

Check the washer because your blue shirts are ROTTING in there.

Wash them again
And again

And DO NOT forget them a second time

Gotta go and put my clothes in the dryer...

"Do you think he ever imagined it?"

What honey?

"Obama, do you think he ever helped in the library when he was a kid and wondered if he would have a 323?"

A 323?

"Yeah, that's where the important people are. Like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King. That is the shelf where Obama's books will be."

The world is changing today, for all of us, even the minority 5th grader living in a Canadian Urban centre...redefining his own possibilites.

From Here to There

12822 km

Several more weeks of waiting

(the agency says travel as early as December

though I'm guessing January is more likely)

A few hours of frenzied packing

A couple of days in planes and airports

Can't Wait!

Delicious...

Click here to view a private post.

What are you up to these days Sweet Benjaminh?

Sweet Benjaminh should be able to:

• on stomach, lift head up to 90 degrees
• laugh out loud
• follow the arc of an object from side to side (180 degrees) when it is held about 6 inches above his face

Because he is partway through the month he is probably able to:

• hold his head steady when he is held upright
• reach for an object
• squeal in delight

I can't wait to see his new photos and check for signs of development. Soon I'll be able to fret about developmental milestones while he lays quietly beside me having a long morning nap (and a long afternoon nap) (followed of course by an uninterrupted night's sleep)

Remember, the blog is all about WISHING...

Watch for upcoming posts...

• a private picture viewing as soon as EXPRESS post becomes something related to EXPRESS-Y
• as well as a prediction request for Sir Phullabaloney Fill down south at Looking for George. Click here and here for a bit of history (I am presenting both sides and to be fair I was experiencing extreme Adoption Angst). I'm going to try again. If you happen to know where the George Seeker lives shoot me a line so I can check weather forecasts. .. ... .... ..... ...... .......

The Waiting Parent's C0c@ine

My drug of choice...updated photos.

I'm told this drug exists in my home and native land. The photos are in Canada and for a reason I can't possibly fathom they (being 3 new photos of my son) are in hard copy in an ExpressPost Canada Post envelope somewhere between there and here. If you don't know how I feel about express post you may want to read this post...

I am a member of the digital age. I have mastered attaching digital images to emails and have demonstrated growing success uploading them to blogger (but I'm still sucking at the wordpress upload). The idea of waiting several days for my drug of choice is less than palatable...

I'm good at waiting (having practiced for so very long).

Canadian Thanksgiving

The company was terrific, the weather was gorgeous and the leaves were breathtaking. Next year Benjaminh and his new baby boy cousin will join this group shot...I guess we need to get a couple more high chairs around the table. Beautiful weather for rock sitting.
That crazy guy on the right even went swimming!
In October! In Canada!
Hours and hours throwing rocks into the water. What could be more fun?

How cute is he? And nary a hot spot or ear infection to be found after a weekend full of swimming.

Giving Thanks for Some of Life's Blessings

Favourite Fall Photo Ever
Lazybones (1993-2004)

Thanksgiving at the Cottage, 2003

Favourite Adoption Day So Far...

September 5th Stork Delivery

Favourite Adoption Poem

This accompanied a square of cloth for Benjaminh's quilt.

Favourite Place on Earth

Summer Sunrise at the cottage

Favourite Neighbour
Sweet Colin, not a willing model

Favourite Photo of my Favourite (and only) Nephew

Nearly 2 years ago

Favourite Boomer Photo

Actually I also love this one...

And this one...
I am so blessed..

I'm healthy

My family and friends are for the most part healthy.

Those that are not at their best have access to excellent medical care.

I have support for my adoption choices everywhere I turn.

I love my school and my colleagues (even though I'm not thrilled about the library position).

My son resides in an orphanage that has sent healthy, happy, developmentally on-target children to live with dear friends in Canada.

Benjaminh's nanny hovers over him...my kind of nanny.

I live in a country that provides paid job protection for a 35 week parental leave (the money sucks, just enough to pay the mortgage and not much else, but I'm thrilled about the leave anyway).

3 families left today to journey to their children at Benjaminh's orphanage.

May they have a safe and worry free journey.

Perhaps I will be further blessed with updated photos in honour of Canadian

Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving

B

Time, both swift and slow

Then

NowTime has been at a standstill for so many months it has come as a bit of shock to the system to see September fly by at the speed of light...hoping this pace continues until travel time and then S...L...O...W....S....right down again once that sweet boy is in my arms.

In the meantime it has been noticed that I have not had much to say for a couple of weeks...

It's been busy...
Here is a bit of a September recap...

Adoption Land

Referral Sept 2 for a sweet baby boy born June 3rd

Hard copy arrived by Purolator Sept 5th

Visited Doctor, Social worker, filled out paperwork

Paperwork back to Agency by the 12th

In the meantime, my travel-mate-to-be announced that she is pregnant. After we have waited for our referrals together for YEARS. There is joy at the pregnancy news mixed with adoption grief. In Ontario pregnancy means you can not complete your adoption. Adoption files must go on hold until the birth child reaches a year of age.

So, my acceptance paperwork and the paperwork of 2 fellow waiting parents is held at the agency while the 4th referral is reassigned to the next paper-ready waiting family.

All 4 referral acceptances will be forwarded to Vietnam as a group this coming week.

Then we wait. Again. This time we know exactly what, and who, we are waiting for. Wait to travel will probably be another 3 months and will very likely take me into 2009. I'm hoping for December travel but I'm trying to be realistic.

Another group of families received their Letter of Invitation to travel and they will leave to be united with their sons and daughters in another week or so at Benjaminh's orphanage. The Vietnam Program director will be traveling with them and I hope she is able to cuddle sweet Benjaminh, snap some new photos and if I'm really lucky perhaps forward updated measurements.

5 additional families have been matched to babies in Benjaminh's orphanage and they wait, on the edge of their seats, for official referrals. Perhaps these referrals will arrive back with the orphanage director in October.

Nesting and Preparing for Benjaminh

Bought diapers for travel (size 3), great sale at Price Chopper...

Crib building and gate installation next weekend....

Completed my registry last night...Babies r us

and a second registry for cloth diapers is pending at an Ottawa based distributor.

School

The year is underway.

I'm in the Library working as the Librarian.

Not into it at all.

Except the part where I buy books using the corporate credit card.

This too shall pass...in about 3 months I'm guessing.

Home and Family

My mom had back surgery on Sept. 3rd and is pain free and feeling great for the first time in 4 or 5 years.

Canadian Thanksgiving mid October...a beautiful fall weekend at the lake and dinner for 20+ extended family members.

Nephew number 2 is expected in mid-November.

Hardwood and ceramic floors are being installed at my place in November.

Cleaning and de-cluttering is being ignored...right this second.

So there you have it.

The sun is shining, better get to work on preparing the yard for winter...

or perhaps I'll read a book in the sun.

You know that time of day,

late in the summer evening,

the sun shines brightly through your sliding glass doors,

glinting brightly off the chrome and black kitchen surfaces,

reflecting brilliantly off the freshly scrubbed floors???

Yeah, me neither.

Looking forward to seeing baby prints in the dust.

Late afternoon sun

shining brightly upon a dust creator...

One adoptive parent must be a Canadian citizen in order for the adopted child to be granted citizenship...

Well my friends, I am, apparently, Canadian.

This coming from a Canadian born always lived in Canada and hasn't traveled out of North America type of girl might seem obvious to you.

Not so obvious to the immigration team working in Sydney Nova Scotia.

I rushed about on a beautiful June day getting certified true copies of 3 pieces on my Identification (passport, driver's licence, birth certificate).

Several dozens of minutes on hold, a few invigorating conversations with the Immigration call centre about time lines and 3 months later the "estimated 2 week turnaround" has turned around...

Everything is out of my hands now.
Next- Ontario reviews my adoption approval and Benjaminh's referral paperwork and issues a letter called the LONO (Letter 0f N0 0bjecti0n)
Vietnam processes my Dossier and Benjaminh's Dossier and eventually issues a LOI (Letter of Invitation)
I travel to my son's birth Country and meet my sweet Benjaminh.

For now?
I wait.
With a big sloppy grin on my face while I stare at the brand new 8x10 I had printed on the weekend.

All Done!

I took the day off yesterday to get my referral acceptance paperwork together. I felt a bit guilty for taking a full day for something that might take an hour or two but signed on a supply teacher for a full day despite my feelings of guilt.

I should have known better.

You would think that after 28+ months in the adoption race I would realize that all perceived time lines must be multiplied by an unknown value. Never, never zero, never 1 and very seldom 2 or 3.

Don't ask what took so long. Just know that I was up at 8 to drive over to see my Adoption Practitioner and my paperwork was at the purolator depot by 7pm...

and then I promptly went shopping.

For Benjaminh.

For the first time I bought a few coordinating clothing items with a baby's little face and body type tucked into the corner of my mind. I shopped for travel. Travel to Vietnam that will likely happen when it is on the colder side (for Vietnam).

3 long sleeved 6-12 month onesies in various baby/blue chocolate brown patterns and two pairs of track pants, one baby blue, one chocolate brown. All from Gymboree's newest monkey line of course.

And I learned about Gym Bucks. I got me some Gym Bucks of my very own. Gym Bucks could prove to be my newest addiction.

First Doctor Visit

Took my sweet boy to the doctor today...
in a purolator envelope.
He's perfect...
but I already knew that.

Wednesday,
Adoption Practioner.

I will accept this referral unconditionally.
He was mine the moment I saw his face...
Tuesday June 24th, 2008
8:10 a.m.

Joy and Pain

As I gaze endlessly at an 8x10 computer generated copy of sweet Benjaminh relaxing in a hammock I feel intense joy. At times over-whelming. I stare at a photo of tiny curled toes and long slender fingers. Imagine his little elfin ear hiding behing his raised arm. Dream about his baby smile and belly giggle. I know the details of this new picture. Finger tips woven through the bright green mesh. This sweet 3 month old baby boy.

I know every detail of the other 12 pictures as well. The early pictures. The little red cumberbund tied around his 19 day old middle. His little sock covered hands. Tiny cheek scratches. A red eye that worried me for days before he was ever really mine to worry about.

The stork visited me at 9am today. In the school office. The stork delived my future right into my quivering hands.

And now, today, I know a few details of Benjaminh's story. I know exactly what I was doing at the moment Benjaminh lost his first family. I've read the documents that set out a chain of events in black and white. Benjaminh's chain of life. Benjaminh's story to tell, someday, if he wants to.

While I sit here feeling intense joy I simultaneously sit here imagining the unbeliveable pain of a birth family on the other side of the world.

Joy and pain, tears of happiness and sorrow, wrapped up tight in a 4.7 kilo package.

Sweetness set to music...

I really have no idea if this youtube upload will work.
Never done it before.
If it does not work I'm sure someone will tell me and I will keep trying...

Click here

Sweet Benjaminh

Click here for a video preview of sorts...the video is delayed.
I have been blessed with a referral for a sweet baby boy that I will call Benjaminh. After what has at times seemed like forever and ever my turn to be a mommy has arrived. I am blessed.

Benjaminh is living in an orphanage in a Vietnamese province outside of Hanoi. He rests comfortably in a green hammock with his arms stretched up and his tiny little toes curled. He stares straight into the camera, straight into my soul. He is beautiful. Everything I could possibly dream and more. Chubby little cheeks and fat little ankles.

As some of you know I have been doubly blessed as real life friends travelled to Benjaminh's home in June. They asked at that time which baby might be mine. They stroked his little legs and held his little hand. They took photos, just in case. 12 photos in total. I have, because of their kind and loving investigative work, 12 photos of my sweet baby when he was soooo new. Perhaps 2 1/2 weeks old. This is a gift that will be with my son as he grows up. Photos of a tiny baby Ben. Stories of a very protective and loving nanny. A gift I could not have given my son without their help. I hope I can pay that priceless favour forward very soon.

I won't be posting photos of Sweet Ben on this unprotected site. If you are interested in seeing his sweet face I'll link you up to another page soon...if you don't know the password but wish you did contact me at lazy2thebones@yahoo.ca

I'm going to go stare at 13 beautiful photos of my son now.

Those of you still searching for your children or waiting for the child you have already found...please know you are in my thoughts all of the time.

From where I sit right now it seems to be true.
The wait is really worth it.
Really.