It is a slippery slope to insanity and I'm on it. Thought I had fed the dog before I left the house to tutor a local little guy this morning but when I got back the pup was asking to be fed. Why exactly is the FOOD bowl full of WATER while it sits right beside the WATER bowl that is also full of WATER?
Hello? Have you seen my mind?
I am a Canadian. I do not have a government imposed deadline sitting right in front of me and yet I am still losing my mind while adoption angst takes up residence in the space where my brain used to reside. I wish big wishes for my U.S. bloggy friends each and every day. I watch their journeys closely. I take strength from their willingness to share the path to their babies and once they reach the end of the path share their life with their babies. What would we all do without this community of support, in real life and on-line?
Here is a little excerpt from an email I received today from a wise, experienced adoptive mama... Without women like this in my real life, the members of my extended Viet Nam family, I would have lost my way on this path long before I got to 27 months. I can hardly wait to introduce Benjaminh to this sweet lady (perhaps at the airport some day soon). Enjoy her words.
"Placing one's heart in the hands of fate is a perilously dangerous thing. One only taken on by the bravest of souls. And you are one of these. I have faith. I really do. Breathe in and out.
You will get there. It will be soon. Just keep breathing. Don't cry. Don't panic. Don't be angry. Just mark the time. Get rid of one day at a time."
I'm breathing. and my calendar is covered with x's.
One day at a time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
wow, that is one wise lady. i needed to read that quote today. trusting in fate and that things will work out the way they should has always been difficult for me.
i'm learning as i go but it is so hard.
tell that wise woman thanks from me. i needed to read that this evening.
leslie
I agree. I think of you and all my fellow US families daily. May we all have ou children home soon.
Colleen
I am with you there in the land of crazy - the adoption part.
I totally agree ! But when I was waiting for my daughters it was so hard to remember this , but it's true , in adoption we walk step by step, day after day , it's long , it's hard , it's terrific but at the end , there will be the " rendez vous " with your baby , right baby , right moment .
Courage and hang it there , the little boy is coming soon
Christine
You will get there Thanks so much for your comment on our referral...talk about cutting it close!
Haha! I am completely and totally convinced that even adopting we have the same absentmindedness as someone who is about to give birth...I am with you on this one! Hope it gets better soon though!
I want to share this lovely email I received today.
On Being a Mom........
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of 'starting a family.'
'We're taking a survey,' she says half-joking.
'Do you think I should have a baby?'
'It will change your life,' I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
'I know,' she says, 'no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations.'
But that is not what I meant at all.
I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.
I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal,
but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, 'What if that had been MY child?'
That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
That an urgent call of 'Mom!' will cause her to drop a soufflé or Her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into An important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.
She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine.
That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather Than the women's, at McDonald's, will become a major dilemma.
That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once She has a child.
That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a caesarean scar o r shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, and not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is Careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.
I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again, for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.
'You'll never regret it,' I finally say.
Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your
Girlfriends who may someday be Moms.
May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart!
Post a Comment