The next adoption...

I need to be more specific. Next time. When I make that all important statement in the home study...you know the one...A healthy infant, birth to 18 months, either gender. I need to add "WITH VEINS". No one told me. I didn't know "WITHOUT VEINS" existed or I would have been more specific. But seriously people, today I visited hell and I ain't going back so next time I'm asking for the venous variety.


4 blood labs in 2 weeks. Talk about abuse. Mommy abuse. They had me trekking that wee baby all over the place. It wasn't Benjaminh abuse (until today) because once they saw the true porkiness of his Highness, tied tight little tourniquets around his chubbliness, prodded his fat folds with their latex covered fingers they wouldn't touch him with a ten foot needle (or a tiny wee one either).


At lab number 1 today (which was in fact lab number 3...) the tech came right out and said "You need someone better than me. And you will need to pay through the nose for parking but she will be worth it." Then she gave me a hospital-ish address and sent me on my way to a lab that doesn't exactly specialize in pediatrics but has a great reputation with infants (well, their doctors anyways). Has a pediatrician right next door. Does this all the time. Do you see where this is going?


In we went, got our number, sat in a room devoid of babies, surrounded by early morning elderly patients, charmed the crowds, cooed, giggled and laughed out loud...until our turn came. She saw the requisition, asked "Adoption?" and said, "This is going to take a lot of blood. I hope your little man has great veins." I replied with you're our 4th lab...you were recommended." Her response...."uh oh".


She tried, really she did. Right arm, left arm, right foot, left foot. She never got out a needle until she had searched each and every limb v.e.r.y..c.a.r.e.f.u.l.l.y.. His little right foot won the lottery, he of course was less than pleased by this time as his limbs had been trussed up over and over and she had been poking and prodding for 10 or more minutes. My job? Hold him still. Hold the leg really still. Try not to cry and try not to faint (her suggestions...at this point I just wanted it over).


In went the needle, directly into the only faint little blue vein on the little prince's body (other than the one on the bride of his nose when he is screaming) and out D.R.I.P.P.E.D about 4 drops of blood...massage, holding the baby elevated, dancing a frigging 'blood dance' would not make that little vein flow. Benjaminh, my mild mannered little laid back prince was LIVID...turning bright red and screaming his head off and still the dripping continued. He does not have veins.


Since he was screaming and livid and we had already burst the eardrums of the waiting elderly patients she did a couple of thumb pricks, a whole lot of thumb rubbing and got just enough blood from his little body to complete a few of the "less blood required..." screenings.


The verdict...come back when he has been walking well for 2 months or so. She wants him to walk off some of the pudge. Then we will know for sure...whether he has veins...or not.


What he does have is tiny little red spots around his eyes and across the bridge of his nose. Burst capillaries. Look a bit like freckles but of a very angry variety. 45 minutes in hell and all it cost me was 9 bucks for parking.


And Star#bucks was out of Chai Tea...unbelievable.